In our parents’ day, there was a bit of scandal attached to the divorcee: a woman who had left her marriage had to be some kind of whore, after all, and was considered “tainted merchandise.” Today, however, divorce is much more common and not necessarily the result of some kind of outrageous confusion. After all, many couples choose to end their marriage simply because they no longer love each other or because they have found themselves arguing so much that they cannot get along.

If you are 30 or older, you are likely to meet many attractive divorced women. And you will find that, in many ways, they are different from single women. They’ve already been married at least once, which means there’s not much mystery left when it comes to men.

They have lived with dirty socks on the floor, milk drunk straight out of the box, and unfortunate smells all men release when they are not concerned about making a good impression.

And they have also seen, for some reason, their marriage fall apart. If you are interested in attracting a divorced woman, here are some simple guidelines:

1. Make it fun to be around.

A divorced woman has already had a serious relationship and few things are more serious than divorce. He wants to laugh and have a good time. Chances are, your ex-husband wasn’t very pleasant to be near the end of their relationship; Now she wants someone to make her feel good about life. So be that boy!

2. Don’t think about the past.

That goes as much for you as it does for her. Talk about your past relationships, of course, but focus on starting a whole new and better chapter of your life. If you are divorced, don’t talk endlessly about your ex-wife. Answer their questions respectfully, then move on. Both of you should be looking to the future, not dwelling on the mistakes of the past.

3. Take the relationship in stride.

You may be the first man she’s been close to since her divorce, and no matter how eager she is for intimacy, she may not be emotionally ready yet. Have dinner, go dancing, see a movie or concert, kiss him good night, and then go home. There’s always time for more if you keep seeing each other, but you don’t want to sabotage what could be a great relationship, but rather jump into the next phase too quickly. You will be much more attractive to her if you don’t push her.

4. Wait to meet your children.

If you have children, being the new man in your mother’s life is a huge responsibility. Wait until you are sure that you definitely want to get involved with her for more than a few casual dates before introducing yourself to her family. This will help both of you and she will appreciate your maturity and thoughtfulness.

5. Don’t compare yourself to her ex.

You may well be more handsome, a nicer guy, and make more money than him, but it’s not a competition. In fact, if you feel somewhat affectionate for your ex-husband, you may be annoyed by hinting that he is a loser. After all, if he’s a loser, what was she doing with him? Comparing yourself to your former spouse is just looking for trouble.

6. Make her feel safe.

A woman who has been divorced has already had her heart broken once, and she is probably worried that her next relationship will end just as badly. Be trustworthy, honest, and kind. Make her realize that you are not going to date her and then you will discard her. She deserves your respect and love, so treat her that way!

7. Be prepared to be a “bounce” lover.

No matter what you do well, she may not be emotionally ready to start a new relationship. Your divorced wife may give you nothing but the green light, only to get the “I think we should be friends” speech when you least expect it. If you are patient, you may still recover, but again, you may not. Remember that he was burned once before and that his fear is natural. Don’t take it personally, just dust yourself off and keep living your life to the fullest.

There are unique challenges to attracting a divorced woman, but with a great deal of patience and respect, you may find that you are wiser, more grounded, and better equipped for a relationship than a single woman. Just remember that all women should feel appreciated, whether they have been married before or not.