In the recovery phase of my husband’s latest love affair, I was having a really hard time letting go of the pain and offering my husband forgiveness.

I was working a lot on “me”, trying to improve myself so that I could regain my self esteem, but none of that mattered when the triggers came up.

So I started listening to this song by country artist Tim McGraw, “Live Like You Were Dying.” Every time I listen to this song it makes me reflect on my life. I think of all the things I would like to do in my life and all the things that I take for granted. This particular song brings joy and sadness at the same time.

As I reflected on my life and the way things were going, I realized that my husband could be taken away from me, or from me, at any moment. Did he really want our last memories of each other to be clouded by his past infidelities? The answer to that question was a resounding no!

I soon realized that by refusing to forgive and letting go of the pain, I was hurting many more people than I was. My immediate family was suffering as much as I was. Everyone around me was suffering from my inability to let go of the wounds. I could finally see that my actions were just as selfish as his.

Once I really understood what my refusal to forgive could mean for my family, it became so much easier to let go of the pain and put the triggers aside. As time went by, I was able to remember without crying or getting angry. It is part of my life and I cannot change it. It is something that my husband did to me that cannot be changed. What changed is how we relate to each other and how we handle the wounds we inflict on ourselves.

I was also reminded that God always shows us the way. He spoke to me through a country song and reminded me that life is short and we never know when our time will end.

If you are withholding forgiveness and keeping the pain close to your heart, it is time to let it go because love cannot go where there is no place. Live your life as if today was the last, live as if you were dying.