Does your Venus connect with Uranus, Neptune or Pluto? People whose natal charts are strong on the outer planets tend to have extraordinary lives. When Venus is part of the picture and makes strong connections called aspects with the outer planets, they are also likely to have a love life that is anything but ordinary. It could be anywhere from starry to starry! Let’s take a look at some of the patterns you are likely to see with these people and see which celebrities share them.

Venus and Uranus: (Similar to Venus in Aquarius) People with this aspect have to learn to “run loose” in relationships or suffer many setbacks. They are not interested in simple and ordinary love, folding clothes and paying the rent; they want excitement, sparkle, and variety. Plus, there’s often an attraction to slightly dangerous and potentially volatile guys, just the sheer adrenaline rush. They usually associate with people very different from themselves, sometimes with people of very different backgrounds, and sometimes with funky, rebellious, and non-conformist people who get on a motorcycle and roar into the sunset.

This can be exciting as long as you don’t get possessive and don’t want roots and commitment, but insist on it with these Uranian dudes and you will suddenly find that they are gone. Sudden changes and interruptions in love life mark this aspect; golden anniversary celebrations are unlikely. And don’t expect the person to be there for you constantly … your Uranian partner is likely too distant to relate to your feelings. So what’s in it for you? You are the one who is choosing and chose this model, following the itchiness of the Venus-Uranus aspect. For added security, you may need to learn to care for people who are not as stimulating, but who are more likely to be there when you need them.

What are the positives in this regard? It results in a cosmopolitan experience and the ability to get along with many different types of people. You often come into contact with interesting and stimulating people from a variety of cultures and backgrounds that broaden your mind; I call this the aspect of the Universal Brotherhood. You can also connect with young people and help them overcome the confusion of growing up. Also, you can be open and receptive to new acquaintances who are always drawn to your orbit, so you are always learning from them.

Venus-Uranus People: Those with the conjunction, the strongest aspect in which the two planets are together, include Tom Cruise, Michael Jackson, fitness advocate Richard Simmons, Elizabeth Taylor, and Candice Bergen.

Venus and Neptune: (Similar to Venus in Pisces). There is often a savior / martyr complex in the love relationships of people born under this aspect. You may well choose people you think you can reform: Neptune / twelfth house type people, such as ex-cons, alcoholics, invalids, or seriously injured people. A pattern of choices like these can leave you hurt when your reform or healing goals are unrealistic. After alcoholics hurt you a few times, you can avoid them, but proceed to some other Neptunian type. Oddly enough, the more different your potential partners look on the outside, the more they resemble each other in their most intimate and crucial qualities.

With this aspect your psychic sensitivity is very acute, even if you are using it for self-destructive choices. Before you can stop “magically” choosing one partner after another who fits that pattern, you must become aware of your part in the situation and why you may unconsciously choose the people who hurt you. You are not a victim, although with this aspect you may secretly enjoy believing that you are; If so, you are one of those people who enjoy the role of martyr. Despite the obvious clues that are red flags for those around you, neurotic need blinds you to the true nature of these people. It may be that dysfunctional partners make you feel unconsciously superior and at the same time like a very special and terribly compassionate super-being who will work the miracle of healing.

Often, too, the problem is related to the codependent relationship model you saw at home. As a social worker, I discovered that almost every woman whose husband was an alcoholic had a father or other significant person in their childhood who drank heavily. The masochistic satisfaction her mother got from being the savior and the Rock of Gibraltar for the family was passed on to her daughter and shaped her vision of what marriage was like. She ended up choosing a man who drank too much but “abandoned him for me”, left him, that is, until the first flower of love faded. Or she chose a man about whom she says, “I didn’t know he drank,” although she should have been very familiar with the signs and symptoms from her own father. The wives of drug addicts show a similar dynamic.

The “way out” for a Venus-Neptune person is to compassionately relate to such troubled people without feeling the need to rescue them and play martyrdom. A better mate choice might be someone who embodies the positive traits of Neptune’s spirituality, creativity, and dedication to service.

Venus-Neptune People: Those with the conjunction include Bill Clinton, Richard Gere, Meg Ryan, Jodi Foster, Christopher Reeve, and Matt Damon.

Venus and Pluto: (Similar to Venus in Scorpio) With this combination, you can alternate between extremes: being a loner or entering into symbiotic relationships (joined at the hip) so suffocating and possessive that it is difficult to remain an individual. Jealousy, suspicion and lack of confidence are often present, along with unease and bitterness for former lovers that you chased away with the suffocating routine. “Till death do us part” is his motto in any relationship, making it difficult for him to forget, or forgive, those who ran away. However, its intensity and need can overwhelm people and make them feel so suffocated that they leave.

Control can also be an important issue in your relationships; if it is and if you don’t have it, you can manipulate and maneuver until you get it. If the other person is in control, you can exercise the final say in control by leaving. Obviously, this way of relating to other people leaves them (and you) without much freedom or individuality, and is not likely to make either of you happy. Giving up control and possessiveness is hard work, but persisting in these patterns warps your relationships.

Venus-Pluto People: Those with the conjunction include Antonio Banderas, Duchess Sarah Ferguson, Beyonce Knowles, Dr. Phil McGraw, Simon Cowell, and Raquel Welch.

Here we have only been able to skim the surface of the outer planetary aspects of Venus. How the relationship patterns connected with them arise and how to use them more constructively are very complex questions. To understand where a specific relationship fits in your life, you would do well to consult a professional astrologer.