I was reading a book the other day (“The 4-Hour Workweek” by Timothy Ferriss) and he asked me to “define your nightmare, the absolute thing that could happen if you did what you’re considering.” What I am considering doing is quitting my job and traveling to the United States. I want to visit all 50 states. There are some foreign countries that I would like to visit too.

It got me thinking about exactly what it would take to make that dream a reality. The first thing that comes to mind is money and that is a big complication! But what if you had $10,000,000.00? Would I still have the guts to do what I want? So, I examined my nightmares.

What would happen if…

I quit my job and traveled around the United States:

I would run out of money without being near family or friends: Well, I could end up homeless in a city I didn’t know. This means I would have to find a job, an apartment or, if I was really desperate, call my parents for help.

He would end up stranded and alone in a bad part of any city, USA, where he would be raped and murdered. My family and friends would miss me.

I would get sick or injured and have no money for health insurance, end up in a hospital and die, or suffer for the rest of my life.

I quit my job and went on a world tour:

I would be stuck in a foreign country where I didn’t know the language and couldn’t get help.

I would have no money and with the language barrier I would have to steal for food, get caught and end up in a foreign jail or maybe I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up in a foreign jail.

I would lose my passport and be stuck there and maybe jailed.

I would get lost in the wild, have to survive on insects and plants, or be trapped in a war zone: I would end up poisoned (by the plants), raped (by the “outlaws”), or dead.

I took my best friend with me:

Seeing all of the above happening to him and not being able to stop it.

WOW! It seems like most of my nightmares are about being hurt, raped, or killed, or the same thing happening to my partner. Let’s tackle each problem:
Sick/Injured:

While the type of illness/injury may differ, who says it couldn’t happen now? I ended up having surgery getting up awkwardly from my chair and tearing the cartilage in my knee. If it happened while I was in the US, all hospitals have a minimum level of care that I can live with. If it happened abroad, it would depend on where I am. In most first world countries, medical care would be acceptable, if not better than in the United States. In a third world country, you would have to accept that as a possible risk and have a contingency plan.

Being raped:

While this is one hell of an experience, it’s one I’ve been through before. Therefore, I am confident that I could relive that experience. It wouldn’t be fun and there would be a lot of emotional/physical issues afterwards, but I am proof positive that you can survive and enjoy life afterward!

Being Killed:

Well this one is easy. Once it happened, I would go on the next big adventure and not worry about the current adventure. Fearing death is a trivial pastime. It’s going to happen at some point. Why fear it!!!

What happens to my partner?

My best friend has been through hell in her life and has lived to enjoy her life now. If something like the above happened, I trust that she would survive to enjoy life again. My sanity is something else. I would blame myself for the rest of my life if something happened to her. But should I let that stop me from letting her go with me? No, she is an adult and she has all her facilities. She can make her own decision and she wouldn’t thank me for ruining her life.

last nightmare:

The one nightmare I haven’t really focused on is probably the most terrifying to me, though in the scheme of things, it may not seem like it. It is the fear of disappointing my friends and family. It seems that this fear plagues my life.

I’ve been the black sheep of my family and you’d think I’d get used to it, but there’s always a voice in the back of my mind that says “Your father would be disappointed in you” or “Just wait until your father comes home” both in the my mother’s voice I have pushed that fear away my whole life and will continue to do so.

As for my friends, my best friend will go with me and I only have a few besides her. My hobby partner (second best friend, I make chainmail jewelry) and his wife would be more jealous than disappointed. Other than that, everyone else is more acquaintance than friend, though there are a couple others who are borderline. They would be jealous too, I think.

My children are the only other consideration in my life. I have two daughters, 16 and 12 years old. My twelve-year-old daughter lives with my ex-boyfriend and his wife. I get to see her about twice a year. I don’t think she misses me any more than usual and would love the gifts she would send him from all the stops on the tour. My sixteen year old daughter and sixteen year old godson (my partner’s son) is more of a consideration, so the journey won’t start until June 2010, once they graduate from high school. This is a delay, nothing more. My sixteen year old daughter will be jealous if I get to visit Japan before her and/or without her. Since the US tour is her first, maybe she can make the trip to Japan with us.

So what’s stopping me? We’re done back with the whole money thing. If I quit my job, I have no income and without income I can’t do my US/world tour. The solution: find a job you can travel with. Since I have at least a year and a half left, that is the goal for the next 18-20 months. Find a job that supports the lifestyle I want: travel!