Daughter-in-law … you’ve heard that old saying … ‘you can choose your friends, you can’t choose your family’ and this has never been applied more aptly than with your son’s wife, the mother of his grandchildren, it is Too bad, there have been times when she wished she had chosen ‘the girl’, yet her son found her, fell in love with her, and married her, because he could!

Have you heard or known of those daughters-in-law from hell ~ the little ones, too young, brats, mean, relentless, hideous and selfish who somehow managed to hold on to the people you love the most, your children.

Too often, you give and give and they never seem happy to have received and received and turn all your good intentions into acts of ugliness for whatever reason.

The thing that always comes to mind when I hear about these selfish little fools is how the hell he chose her in the first place. You thought you raised him with sharper “pick the right girl” skills, we all knew that.

If you are one of those very unfortunate mothers who have inherited ‘the wrong daughter-in-law’, keep in mind that it is not your fault, you are not the one who has to live with her (thank God), and try to keep in mind that “what that goes, comes back “, for your own peace of mind.

Try to keep an open line of communication between you and your child, always try to stay in touch with your grandchildren, they are the ones who can lose the most when they cannot see the grandparents who love them, and pray that one day the daughter-in-law he will grow and come to see the madness of his ways. Don’t hold your breath …

Perhaps the most important person to work with here is your son – you are not going to choose sides and leave your wife (yet) just because you wish or could. Your knowing that you are there is perhaps the most essential thing you need to know.

Life choices and experience will generally win the day. If you’ve always been around your son and soon discover that ‘the wife’ has caused him to lose all contact with his family members and is buried under hers, he will eventually wonder, ‘what the heck happened? ‘In the event that the situation is serious, with total alienation and little or no contact, you can talk to a family therapist about an intervention with the families, yours and hers. Especially if there are grandchildren who are prevented from knowing you, the intervention allows a safe place to speak calmly about real issues, their insecurities, their inability to control who their children can see and when.

If an intervention is totally out of the question, you may need to give your child time to face the ugliness of their choices and move on with their life, if they refused and you have been trying and trying to keep up. . Brave front, cry again and move on … if you’ve helped them financially in the past, STOP … don’t contact them or make any attempt to stay connected right now.

Serious marital discord usually leads to serious problems later in life; When that happens, your child will have nowhere to turn when the proverbial ‘sh__ hit the fan’ and he will if he has some spine, he always does, although it could take years. Often times, too much is happening – your child is being pushed in too many directions, and his judgments are murky and confusing at best.

A suggestion for the middle time would be to keep a scrapbook with notes of his feeling of loss and frustration with his situation, write a monthly entry expressing his love and prayers for a future relationship with him and his children (with or without his wife) . Insert photos recounting your family’s events enjoying time with relatives and siblings who will feel sincere when he regains his senses.

Once you’ve done everything in your power to have a peaceful and loving relationship with your daughter-in-law, walk away, let your son get close to you, he will if you had a close relationship before she came. Forgive her in your heart and pray for your son and grandchildren.