Being in love is a wonderful feeling. Once we fall in love with a man, we begin to imagine what our future with him will be like. It’s hard not to imagine what his lives will be like in a few years and what it will feel like to be his wife. That imagined fairy tale can come crashing down around you when he says “I need time.” Those words can make a woman feel like the world has been ripped out from under her. Understanding exactly what a man means when he tells you this is crucial to keeping the relationship together. If he’s not prepared to lose the man he loves, he needs some much-needed insight into what’s going on in his heart and in his head.

When you say “I need time,” it’s very likely that you went to your closest friends to help them figure out what you meant. The problem with this approach is that most women have a skewed view of the hidden meaning behind what men say. Your friends are likely to tell you that this means he is overwhelmed by the depth of his love for you. They can suggest that he needs some time to fully understand how much he cares about you. When your man says that he needs space or time, it has nothing to do with him being too in love with you. He has everything to do with him needing to be away from you. If your guy has told you this, it’s his way of slowly and compassionately breaking up with you.

What you do when he says he wants some time or needs some distance is crucial to the future of the relationship. The best possible move you can make at this point is to be mature about the situation and tell him that you agree with him. Granted, this isn’t going to be how you feel at all, but it’s an approach that works for a couple of reasons.

First, he doesn’t expect you to want a break from him. That is why he is being so gentle with you in the way that he is disassociating himself from the relationship. He expects you to fight, and if you don’t, that will take away his power. Also, if you agree that time is necessary, he will start to question your feelings for him. If a man feels that a woman is out of his league, she is more attractive to him. Men often think they need time if the relationship has gotten a bit boring or stale. Getting away from him, even if he’s pulling away from you, is often the best way to win him back.